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Interviewer: What hours/days are you available?
Me: I don't work nights, holidays or weekends. I don't come in early and I don't stay late. I prefer four hours a day, no more than six. Nothing before 8am or after 5pm.
Interviewer: Do you consider yourself a team player?
Me: There is no I in team, so I do not participate in team activities.
Interviewer: How would you rate your customer service skills?
Me: It would be best for all concerned if I have little to no contact with customers.
Interviewer: We are building an inclusive and diverse workplace, what does that mean to you?
Me: Nothing. I don't care what color their skin is, where they are from, who they sleep with, what God they worship or what restroom they use. If you want me to care, we can negotiate that into my salary.
Interviewer: Well that's all the questions I have, we will get back with you.
Me: I have a couple questions for you.
Interviewer: Well, ok.
Me: Does the supervisor ever come to work with a poor attitude and walk around being a total douchebag and expect everyone to put up with it? If he does, I am not your guy.
Me: As you can see, I am not flexible, I am not putting up with any crap and I only do what you pay me to do. Does that sound like the employee you are looking for?
Interviewer: I will note your concerns.
Me: Thanks, have a great day1
Me: I don't work nights, holidays or weekends. I don't come in early and I don't stay late. I prefer four hours a day, no more than six. Nothing before 8am or after 5pm.
Interviewer: Do you consider yourself a team player?
Me: There is no I in team, so I do not participate in team activities.
Interviewer: How would you rate your customer service skills?
Me: It would be best for all concerned if I have little to no contact with customers.
Interviewer: We are building an inclusive and diverse workplace, what does that mean to you?
Me: Nothing. I don't care what color their skin is, where they are from, who they sleep with, what God they worship or what restroom they use. If you want me to care, we can negotiate that into my salary.
Interviewer: Well that's all the questions I have, we will get back with you.
Me: I have a couple questions for you.
Interviewer: Well, ok.
Me: Does the supervisor ever come to work with a poor attitude and walk around being a total douchebag and expect everyone to put up with it? If he does, I am not your guy.
Me: As you can see, I am not flexible, I am not putting up with any crap and I only do what you pay me to do. Does that sound like the employee you are looking for?
Interviewer: I will note your concerns.
Me: Thanks, have a great day1
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